Pronoun Guide
What is a “Pronoun”?
Pronouns are the words that replace a person’s name in a sentence and are generally used to refer to people when they are not present. Pronouns are gendered and it’s important to use the correct pronoun when referring to people to validate their gender experience.
Why focus on pronouns?
You may have noticed that people are sharing their pronouns in introductions, on name tags, and at meetings. This is happening to make spaces more inclusive of people who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Sharing pronouns is a step toward respecting people’s gender identities and creating a more welcoming space for all.
What are some examples of Pronouns?
Gender pronouns can look like the following but are not limited to:
- He/ Him/ His
Phonetics: /hi/ /hɪm/ /hɪz/ - She/ Her/ Hers
Phonetics: /ʃi/ /hɜr/ /hɜrz/ - They/ Them/ Theirs
Phonetics: /ðeɪ/ /ðem/ /ðerz/ - Ze/ Zir/ Zirs
Phonetics: /zi/ /zɜr/ /zɜrz/
Some individuals may use multiple different pronouns or none of these pronouns.
“They” vs “She/He”
Singular They: They can be used as a singular pronoun and has been used in literature for someone whose gender is unknown for centuries. The use of “they” as a pronoun for people who identify as nonbinary is relatively new for the word but is within the bounds of its appropriate usage.
Why was “they” adopted as a singular pronoun? In the 17th century, English laws concerning inheritance sometimes referred to people who didn’t fit a gender binary using the pronoun “it,” which, while it can be seen as dehumanizing, was conceived of as being the most grammatically fit answer to gendered pronouns around then. Adopting the already singular “they” is vastly preferable. Today, one would use “they” when unsure of another’s pronouns.
Examples
- Someone left their phone in the cafeteria, I hope they find it.
- I wonder when the mail person is going to get here, she usually delivers my packages at 3 o’clock.
- This is my friend James, I met him at work.
Want to get everyone’s pronouns right in everyday life? Follow these steps:
- Offer your pronouns when introducing yourself to a person.
- Ask for the person’s pronouns in a setting that does not put them on the spot.
- Respect, remember, and use their pronouns just as you would with their name.
Got someone’s pronouns wrong? Here’s how you may want to handle the situation:
- Apologize and own up to your mistake. Correct yourself stating the right pronouns.
- Understand that your impact is different from your intent. You may not have wanted to hurt the person, but the person still has the right to be upset.
- Commit to changing your behavior and doing better next time. Remembering pronouns is like remembering names–it’s a sign of respect.
- Be patient as you learn to use new terms and pronouns. It gets easier with practice. This resource shares additional tips.